bang bang pow
2005-10-03
I can't believe it's October already.
And it sure is.
Vancouver has skipped past fall straight into winter, rainy days, I can see my breath and scarlet or gold leaves everywhere I look.
I am now officially describing my state of mind as "adjusting". People ask how I'm doing, or what's new and instead of launching on a tirade of how lost I feel and how meaningless and pointless and directionless my life seems at the moment I just smile and say "oh you know, I'm adjusting...first fall out of school etc." And everyone just sort of smiles and nods.
I wonder how long this adjustment will take. As a matter of fact I wonder just what I'm adjusting to.
But as the fall turns late and cold and wet, it is kind of nice to be able to give in, whole-heartedly to the instinct to nest. To hole up at home with a book, to go for long walks underneath chestnut trees as the small rigid fruit rockets to earth and you sustain your restrained pace while slightly fearing death at impalement by nut while distant statistics of death by coconut rattle around in your brain and you try in vain to calculate the velocity these chestnuts must be falling at and how likely they are to cause serious injury or death given their size in relation to those caused by coconuts. Walking slowly, one foot in front of the other, hearing them rustle through the leaves and smack hard on the pavement for blocks and blocks. I wonder if the city has ever considered the legal implications of such trees on boulevards.
Such is my state of mind. Such is the nature of adjustment...I suppose.